Butterfly

Herein lies the deepest symbolic lesson of the butterfly. She asks us to accept the changes in our lives as casually as she does. The butterfly unquestioningly embraces the changes of her environment and her body.
This unwavering acceptance of her metamorphosis is also symbolic of faith. Here the butterfly beckons us to keep our faith as we undergo transitions in our lives. She understands that our toiling, fretting and anger are useless against the turning tides of nature – she asks us to recognize the same.

"i am a city girl and a warrior " the raincoats

nov26th 2010

beauty and pleasure
i miss you
yet, i will not call you

i push my entire body  
against you
too tired
to be in love with
anyone

alone again with my computer screen
where i can find any time ,anything
i can set my self on fire
i dont need you
i dont need you
i dont need you

loneliness
has arrived
time is  ticking , away
the scars of my future
they are urban poetry

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.  ~Arthur Miller

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."  ~Erma Bombeck

my dads birthday today he passed away 7 years ago this bio was written then

a sour note

I strum my instrument
stroking the skin
drowning in my own sin
watering the fading flower
massaging a foggy brain
sad sad sad
black blue eyes
the shadowy darkness
waiting outside
the smell of  death
the closer it comes
a stillness
so unbearable
the sleep 
that will never end

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spiritually synchronized in serendipity

get it while you can

fate

seeing you again
moved me
made my heart beat and feel less lonely
your breath on me, the scent of sunflowers
like magic
you arrived
i could see my reflection in your eyes
you are a desire
i have tried to erase
fate keeps our hands locked
as you walk away
my body aches
for you

The Laughing Heart

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

-- by Charles Bukowski

theres nothing like hunger to make things happen

put your lips down close to his heart and breath hard

cold liquid

cold liquid
hits the back of my throat
its never enough
i always want more
so i can forget about you

for if i let my self dream
and wake up to find you not there
ill die inside again
over and over

i must forget

in my eyes
you were the light
which is now fading
the moon takes over
looming over us

lift me up
watch me fly
come earth
open the sky
eyes laugh and play
with lips and lungs
give me the gift of more time

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in this dream
you were mine
we were laughing
and fucking
watching video art and reading erotic poetry
together we made the other boys jealous
eating ice cream and strolling in the park
we were kissing on the grass
till dawn came
finally free
to be lovers

thurs 854pm

i want to get excited

feel inspired

live my life like never before

nothng really does it for me any more

there is nothing that satisfy's me

that suffocate's my heart

i want my heart to burst

to explode with joy

I want to be taken on a magical ride

touch godliness

taste heavenly pleasures

get intoxicated by the scent of a flower

i want to be driven to madness

sleep in the clouds

swim in sacred water

glare into the sun

i want to get excited

feel inspired

live my life like never before

start with a blank page

an empty space

a view of the sky

perfect lighting

soft music

an open mind

a peaceful heart

and you just may find a moment of happiness

i stir for 20 minutes

until it swells twice its size

i watch the sticky steamy bubbles pop

the mother scent permeates from the stove
i know it is done when the white, translucent, creamy, liquid...squirts

your hand in mine

i want to devour you
every inch of
you
explore your
holy place
with your hand in mine
I will digest your fears
swallow
my tears
deeper i will go
into the rabbit hole
inside of your heart
the center of your soul
there i will find
your
truth

some
times
the
stars
align

valentines day

l swell up
pink
exude heat
like a volcano
I gush
wetness
and become
euphoric

for u

pale
blue
eyed
blond
tall
man
full
lips
my
head
your
chest
your
legs
my
hips
i
want
to
feel
you
inside
of
me
again

quote

life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards " "Kierkegaard"

My New York

i want to b where u r

look me up
when you heart/ gets broken
call on me / i'll be there/ to listen
i can be your friend / or i can be your lover
its fine by me / one way or another
is it / such a crime
to want to / waste some time
with you
i just want to be/ where you are
your such a star

new york cab ride

Today
I got in a cab,
the driver looked like Sean Penn.
There was loud music playing, it was the grateful dead.
He asked me if it was too loud?
No it's fine.
I asked him if he is an x dead head?
He answered yes, in a round about way.
Then he asked me if i ever was a fan?
I said no, but a girlfriend of mine quit school and followed them around for a couple of years.
How is she now he asked?
Shes great, she went to back to school got a masters in art, she was always a great painter. Today she is exhibiting, happily married and has 3 beautiful children.
As we arrived at my destination he turned around grinned and said listening to the Grateful Dead is better than sex.
Wow, well that does sound good, enjoy your grateful dead experience...paid the fare and got out of the cab.

my dreams are a better place to be than reality these days